One Year Ago Today...

4/29/08--The day we made the call into Gladney to start the adoption process to bring "K" home.  This brings up old feelings of sorrow, frustration, and doubt that has lain latent for a while.  After we got the news in July that "K" ran away from the orphanage, I slipped into a "mini" depression.  I couldn't understand why God would bring him into our lives and then take him away 3 months later.  I wasn't even sure we should continue the pursuit of adoption of another child once we conceded that "K" wasn't going to be found (unless by some miracle). But once I "snapped out of it",  I turned to the truths in God's word and rested in them---  

Isaiah 55:8-9 says:

"For my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways my ways," declares the Lord. "And the heavens are higher than the earth, so are my ways higher than your ways and my thoughts than your thoughts."

Job 1:21 says:

"...the Lord gave and the Lord has taken away.  Blessed be the name of the Lord."

Jeremiah 29:11 says:

"For I know the plans I have for you," declares the Lord, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.

I know His ways are so much better than my ways.  I may not always understand why things happen, but I don't need to understand.  I just need to trust that God has it all in His hands, in His control, and in His time.  My job is to trust and obey and continue in the pursuit of the miracle of adoption that He has called us to.  I pray &/or think about "K" almost daily.  I pray for his protection.  I pray he finds someone in the community to take him in and to show him love and compassion.  If he does happen to make his way back to the orphanage, we were told that we would be the first to find out. But I realize that maybe my job for now is to be a prayer warrior "mom" to him while on this earth and then hope that someday I will see him in heaven.  And life goes on.  I continue to love and care for my family and pray for guidance during this entire adoption process.  I know we are on the path God desires for us.   It's not always a straight, clear-cut, easily laid-out path, but it is the one God wants us to travel.  I know He is taking care of the details.

Psalm 10:14 says:

"But you, O God, do see trouble and grief; you consider it to take it in hand.  The victim commits himself to you; you are the helper of the fatherless."  

I rest in that promise......