Friday, March 5, 2010

Getting Real (PART 1)

If you follow this blog at all, you know I don't share much about myself. I am usually promoting someone else's words of wisdom, words of encouragement, words of conviction, etc. I have been challenged by the blogger at Storing Up Treasures to stop "faking it," or as I am calling it "getting real". I am only doing this in the hopes that it encourages someone else out there who, like me, feels insignificant, unimportant, inadequate at times. I am not writing this so that I can sound eloquent (which I'm not) or to promote myself or my words (far from it) OR even to be "bashing" myself. I am just trying to show a vulnerable side of myself that you haven't seen because I haven't let you in. The desire to hide is a result of my disease called "perfectionism". I don't want to show my flaws or have you really "see" me and then not like me. What I have been learning over the years as a believer in Christ is that PRAISE GOD I don't have to be perfect! I don't have to have it all together. I don't have to be the Super Mom I strive to be but fail at miserably. I struggle with patience like every one else...I struggle with the weight of responsibility that comes with being a good parent like everyone else. I often wonder if what I'm teaching my children is going to be helpful or harmful in their lives down the road? Is my example going to be a good one or a bad one? Sometimes the answer is yes, and sometimes it's no. And it's OK because "...love covers a multitude of sins." (1 Peter 4:8)

What I do know is that I am called to live my life for Christ. That means I am called to die to self, to recognize that I AM NOT PERFECT, never will be and need a savior who is. He covers all my sins, all my flaws, all my imperfections. I just need to walk in obedience to what He has called me to do, and let Him take care of the "how it's going to all turn out" part. (Taking Beth Moore's study called Esther--It's Tough Being a Woman" where we just talked about this concept).

I sometimes gain more insight, comfort and encouragement from those blogger moms (and in-person moms) who are willing to "put it all out there", be vulnerable and REAL. Why can't I be that for someone else? Well, here is a small attempt at doing just that....so that someone else can benefit and revel in the fact that "when we are weak, He is strong!" Paul says this in 1 Corinthians 12: 7-10. He is talking about "the thorn in his side" which he pleaded with the Lord to remove. But Jesus replied, "My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness."

What is MY thorn? My thorn is self-doubt and feelings of inadequacy & insecurity. Perfectionism creates "accomplishment- driven" thinking, and when I don't feel I have accomplished anything, I don't feel adequate, like I don't measure up to my own standards. The TRUTH is, God is pleased with me no matter what I do. He LOVES me in spite of my imperfections, in spite of my failures, in spite of my self-centered pride. "While we were STILL SINNERS, He died for us." (Romans 5:8) Go here for more elaboration on the depth of Christ's love for us in spite of our weaknesses. I have written in the back of my bible this quote from Chuck Swindoll so that I would never forget it. He said, "Not until we come to the end of our own strength does God do His best work." Amen!


I hope that this post in some way helps someone else out there who may be struggling with these issues. If so, I encourage you to step out of hiding, be vulnerable, and share your thoughts. It is very therapeutic and freeing! Join the revolution!

2 comments:

  1. Great post. I love Beth Moore and I love reading the blog you mentioned. Funny that you mentioned "perfectionism" I wish I had some of that. I have gotten so "relaxed" or um lazy as I have gotten older. I think it is great that you are getting some of this off your chest...WAY TO GO!

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